Spoke with a man confined to a wheelchair today. Asked him if he felt thankful despite his circumstances, and if so what for. He thought for a minute and named two things: his therapist and his church community. With respect to friends, he told me that his former co-workers had pretty much fallen by the wayside but that his brothers and sisters in Christ were always there for him.

Then I spoke to another man with a very serious, life threatening illness and asked him the same question. His first reasons for thankfulness? His marriage of many years. Second reason? His relationship with the Lord.

Interesting that the first thing that came to both men's minds was a human being. A therapist. A spouse. Very interesting that the very next thing on the list was faith related. A Christian community. And Jesus.

So how would you have answered my question on this Thanksgiving weekend?

Tie a Yellow Ribbon

A young soldier from our church arrived in Afghanistan this week to begin his tour of duty. He is in an area that the military has nicknamed "the Wild West." For the next six to nine months he will be in harm's way.

Before Michael left, I told him that we would pray for him every day. Unfailingly. So this morning as we sat down to breakfast we mentioned him by name and asked God to protect him not only physically, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Then we turned on the news and heard that Canada had suffered its 144th casualty. Private Kevin McKay, 24, from Richmond Hill had been killed by an improvised explosive device (IED) while on foot patrol only two days before his tour of duty was to end. Imagine the impact on Michael and his parents, brother and sister!

In support of our troops, Michael's family and friends are distributing yellow ribbons through our church. Yesterday, we tied our ribbon to our lamp post. It will be a message to our neighbours and a reminder to ourselves that we have sons and daughters in the most dangerous part of the world.

Our troops have courageously placed themselves in a position where there is the constant possibility of making the ultimate sacrifice for freedom's sake. Please join us in tying a yellow ribbon to a tree or post where you live as a visual reminder to always keep them and their families in our thoughts and prayers.

Watch Your Language

Last week it was Gordon Brown, England's prime minister, whose tongue got himself in trouble when he called a senior a "bigoted woman" after she took him to task while he was campaigning. This week's public official who deserves the "foot in mouth" award is Conservative senator Nancy Ruth who stunned international development advocates on Monday when she told them to "shut the f---up" on the issue of making abortion part of Canada's foreign maternal-health strategy. The fact that this women's rights advocate is also a United Church minister made the use of the F-bomb even more shocking.

Words have the power to bless and curse, to heal and hurt. In these two cases, a single incendiary word spoken in the heat of the moment may be enough to harm two solid political careers. In the U.K., for example, they are already calling Brown's gaffe "Bigotgate" and suggesting that he may not recover in his bid to be re-elected. In Canada we will have to see what Nancy Ruth's ultimate consequence will be. For now, Liberal status of women critic Anita Neville is demanding an apology from Senator Ruth for her "profane language."

Actually, Nancy Ruth's linguistic crime was not profanity, but crudity. I certainly don't want to defend her unwise choice of words. We all need to watch our language. But I always find it interesting when people get profanity and crudity confused, and when they get more upset about an Anglo-Saxon gutter word than taking God's name in vain. Neither is fitting, but the latter is definitely worse.

Lord Willing and Health Permitting

Not since 9/11 has the sky been so full of ash as it is now that a volcano has erupted in Iceland. As a result, more than a million travelers have been stranded in airports or forced to postpone their plans. That's because jet engines can choke on the volcanic particles floating towards Scandinavia, Russia and Europe.

It's a necessary reminder that "a person plans her course, but the Lord determines her steps." That's why we should always add, "The Lord willing and health permitting" whenever we talk about the future.

Take my friend, Liz. She had joked that she was really looking forward to getting her first government cheque upon turning 65. She died one day before her birthday, only two weeks after she found out that her pain was not due to gall stones, as everyone thought, but liver cancer. Whatever retirement plans she had with her husband, John, were radically changed. Thankfully, her Christian faith enabled her to say, "I'm OK. I'm going home to my Saviour and Lord!"

The old Latin expression is "Deo volente." It means "God willing." And it's a phrase that unexpected events like volcanic eruptions and fatal diseases remind us to say whenever we make plans or envision our preferred future.

Headline Offends

Headlines are designed to grab your attention. But Tuesday's Toronto Sun did so in a very offensive way. In huge, capitalized letters it screamed "COP KILLED." Not "Police Officer Slain" or "OPP Constable Shot." Just a crude, paper selling headline lacking any sensitivity for the family of Officer Vu Pham.

It was years ago that I was sensitized by a grieving couple to the hurtful power of language in newspapers. Their adult son, married and an expectant family, was a construction worker who fell six stories to his death from an apartment building. In the London Free Press a journalist described his fatal fall as "spectacular." You can just imagine how painful that poorly chosen adjective was to his parents!

"Cop Killed" is no way to describe the tragic death of a fifteen year veteran of the police force who was a devoted Christian, a faithful husband, a loving father, a responsible son, and a great brother to his adoptive sister who described him as "a wonderful man of God who lived his faith on his sleeve ... and was real."

Life Lessons at the Oval

Dutch speed skating coach Gerard Kemker's mental mistake cost Sven Kramers the gold metal and a world record in the 10,000 meters. It also cost him a lot of grief and a night's sleep. Some even thought that his miscue - incorrectly telling Sven to switch to the inner lane after the 17th lap - might have cost him his job.

Both the coach and his skater showed tremendous character, however, when they extended grace to each other and agreed to move forward. Understandably, Sven Kramer first had to process his anger and huge disappointment. But the next day when he was asked if he had forgiven his coach, he answered, ""For sure. I'm not a person that's really mad for a long time. That isn't going to help the team. I said to him that we have to go forward for more victories. That's important for me and also for him."

As for the distraught coach, he spent the night after the race writing in his diary until 2 a.m. Only then was he able to fall asleep. The next day, reflecting on what he had written, he turned philosophical about facing people in the Netherlands and said, "Fortunately, I don't have to put up an act. I can just be myself and that's a comfort zone that feels good. I've been a coach now for over 15 years, so I've had some experiences. I didn't have them as deep as this one yet, but they will come in handy."

What an awesome way to process a bad experience and turn it into a life lesson instead!

Sound Judgment and a Sweet Sleep

Exercising sound judgment lets you sleep sweetly and unafraid (Proverbs 4:21-24). But what does it take to make wise, discerning judgment calls?

A relationship with Jesus is key, because he re-orients us in God's good direction. Although we are inclined to be self-serving, Jesus reminds us to love God with our everything and to love our neighbours the way we love ourselves. The person who puts God and others first will make better judgments than the person motivated by self-advancement.

It also helps to have a process to follow when confronted with choices and decisions that must be made. A tool called F.O.C.U.S. has been especially beneficial to me when making snap judgments about small things like dressing appropriately for the weather or the occasion or wrestling with bigger decisions like buying a house or accepting a call to a church. In this helpful acronym, "F" stands for Facts, "O" stands for Options, "C" stands for Consequences, "U" stands for Understanding, and "S" stands for Solution.

A relationship with Christ and a process that helps you FOCUS should help with the one thing that everybody craves and needs ... a good night's sleep.