Headline Offends

Headlines are designed to grab your attention. But Tuesday's Toronto Sun did so in a very offensive way. In huge, capitalized letters it screamed "COP KILLED." Not "Police Officer Slain" or "OPP Constable Shot." Just a crude, paper selling headline lacking any sensitivity for the family of Officer Vu Pham.

It was years ago that I was sensitized by a grieving couple to the hurtful power of language in newspapers. Their adult son, married and an expectant family, was a construction worker who fell six stories to his death from an apartment building. In the London Free Press a journalist described his fatal fall as "spectacular." You can just imagine how painful that poorly chosen adjective was to his parents!

"Cop Killed" is no way to describe the tragic death of a fifteen year veteran of the police force who was a devoted Christian, a faithful husband, a loving father, a responsible son, and a great brother to his adoptive sister who described him as "a wonderful man of God who lived his faith on his sleeve ... and was real."

Life Lessons at the Oval

Dutch speed skating coach Gerard Kemker's mental mistake cost Sven Kramers the gold metal and a world record in the 10,000 meters. It also cost him a lot of grief and a night's sleep. Some even thought that his miscue - incorrectly telling Sven to switch to the inner lane after the 17th lap - might have cost him his job.

Both the coach and his skater showed tremendous character, however, when they extended grace to each other and agreed to move forward. Understandably, Sven Kramer first had to process his anger and huge disappointment. But the next day when he was asked if he had forgiven his coach, he answered, ""For sure. I'm not a person that's really mad for a long time. That isn't going to help the team. I said to him that we have to go forward for more victories. That's important for me and also for him."

As for the distraught coach, he spent the night after the race writing in his diary until 2 a.m. Only then was he able to fall asleep. The next day, reflecting on what he had written, he turned philosophical about facing people in the Netherlands and said, "Fortunately, I don't have to put up an act. I can just be myself and that's a comfort zone that feels good. I've been a coach now for over 15 years, so I've had some experiences. I didn't have them as deep as this one yet, but they will come in handy."

What an awesome way to process a bad experience and turn it into a life lesson instead!

Sound Judgment and a Sweet Sleep

Exercising sound judgment lets you sleep sweetly and unafraid (Proverbs 4:21-24). But what does it take to make wise, discerning judgment calls?

A relationship with Jesus is key, because he re-orients us in God's good direction. Although we are inclined to be self-serving, Jesus reminds us to love God with our everything and to love our neighbours the way we love ourselves. The person who puts God and others first will make better judgments than the person motivated by self-advancement.

It also helps to have a process to follow when confronted with choices and decisions that must be made. A tool called F.O.C.U.S. has been especially beneficial to me when making snap judgments about small things like dressing appropriately for the weather or the occasion or wrestling with bigger decisions like buying a house or accepting a call to a church. In this helpful acronym, "F" stands for Facts, "O" stands for Options, "C" stands for Consequences, "U" stands for Understanding, and "S" stands for Solution.

A relationship with Christ and a process that helps you FOCUS should help with the one thing that everybody craves and needs ... a good night's sleep.

Don't Be Someone Who Does Nothing

In Turning Angel, a novel by Greg Iles, one of the characters observes "The person who does nothing in a crisis is as bad as the one who caused it." How true that is. That's why the day after the earthquake in Haiti, our church immediately scheduled an emergency offering for the Christian Reformed World Relief Committee (CRWRC), an agency which has worked in Haiti for 30 years and is now helping survivors of the earthquake. That's why Hope Fellowship will be making its auditorium available for a benefit concert for Haiti by area musicians on Sunday evening, January 31. We can't do nothing; we must do something.

The millions of dollars now pouring in sounds like a lot, perhaps giving you the impression that your donation is hardly needed. But today's Globe and Mail says that $10 BILLION will be needed to rebuild the country. That's why we should not hesitate to donate.

So give something, so that it can not be said of you that you did nothing. And give with a view to the future needs of this brutalized country which will be there long after the media's attention has shifted elsewhere.

Living Wisely in 2010

In 2009, some people did some really dumb things. A prime example is the Balloon Boy caper involving two "Reality Show Wannabe" parents who coached their three children to lie to the authorities and the media while staging a reckless stunt.

We need to be careful about pointing fingers, however, because all of us engaged in various kinds of foolishness, too, from spending money we didn't have to saying things that we'd love to take back. God only knows (and I use this expression deliberately) the scandalous things that we have thought and done that, but for the grace of God, could have gotten us into big trouble in the last twelve months.

What all of us need is a dose of common sense and a refresher course in biblical wisdom. To that end, in 2010, I'll be preaching through the book of Proverbs about "Living Wisely". If this appeals to you, listen in at "hopefellowship.ca".

Wisdom, to quote Norman Cousins, "is the anticipation of consequences". And I wish you a new year and decade characterized by wise choices that anticipate joy, peace and glory to God.

Solicitation Letters

Year end solicitation letters have been piling up in our home and creating stress in us. Is it just my imagination, or are there more than ever this year? They certainly have an unusually urgent tone, since most Christian agencies have had to make drastic cuts due to reduced giving during the recession.

This morning over breakfast we put all the letters on the table and ruthlessly decided who we would support and who we would not. It would have been nice to say yes to everyone, but our approach is to give our money only to those causes that we are informed about and interested in.

We also decided which items we would donate from the Christmas Giving Guide that the Christian Reformed World Relief Committee has put out. This week we'll let my parents know that in their name a latrine will be donated to a community in Cambodia and a goat to a Third World family.

I feel lighter now that we've made our year end "giving" decisions. Not only is it more blessed to give than to receive, it is also a relief to be done with that imposing pile of donation requests.

Tiger In The Woods

Tiger Woods has asked for privacy to deal with his personal problems. The media and the public, however, have not granted his request. Every movement between his home and the hospital is being scrutinized. Every word on his website is being analyzed. And news program and current affairs magazines are intent on keeping viewers tantalized.

His desire for privacy is understandable. The allegations of multiple affairs have tarnished his squeeky clean image and I'm sure that he is both embarrassed and fearful. But the best defense in a situation like this is to be pro-active, like Late Show host David Letterman who confessed on his show to having sex with employees and NBA All-Star Charles Barkley who went public with his gambling problem.

It was Jesus who said, "There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known." Since that's the case, you're always better off stepping up with the truth instead of letting others step all over you with whatever dirt they dig up. That's not just true for Tiger but also for the rest of us who struggle with our own temptations.

Right now, Tiger is in the woods. I hope he uses the "truth club" and gets back in the game as a "flawed but real" hero who everyone can respect and support as he seeks help.